Everyone laughs. Now I do as well.
The reality is that I would not want to laugh, but when I do I feel a little better.
They only laugh because they are making fun of me and it saddens me. In fact it saddens me a great deal.
They do it because I’m not like them.
I don’t like to smoke, I do not like to drink and I don’t like wearing expensive clothes just because of the name.. clothes stamped with a “brand”, as they say.
In class it’s the same story every day. Entering the classroom. I sit. At the beginning I am a ghost. No one sees me. Then they begin to see me.
At first they start spitting chewed up paper balls of paper at me. I ignored them.
But if I kept on doing this I’m going to become more annoyed. They continued by calling me loser. Then telling me I’m a nobody.
They would say “see you at breaktime” with a gin on their faces. Then, that time arrived. The breaktime. All of them are talking, eating, joking, someone is smoking a cigarette.
I remain as a spectator to everything, eating my sandwich that my mom prepared me with love and she does not know that this sandwich, will fall into the hands of someone else.
Now that time has arrived, I try to ignore it.
“Here is the loser, you thought you could dodge us, but no, we have not forgotten you, we never will,” and like all the other days I took my sandwich and give it to them, but thing became more physical … they started by hiding my shoes, one day my backpack, then my books … then throwing all my school flies out the window, into the dustbin and then worse into toilet.
Today they are saying that I’m not like them, I am a geek because I don’t have a girlfriend.
Dear diary…actually there is a girl I like, but I’m afraid to tell her because we are very close already, we are very similar!! How can I do it??
One day they began again and pushed me against the edge of the desk and I got hurt but they threatened me and told me that if I told anyone they would make my life a living hell.
I wanted to say that I living a hell everyday already because of them, instead I laughed and told them to take it easy. In fact, when the teacher asked me what had happened, I told him that I had stumbled.
Dear diary…I do not know what to do. I write to you because I have no one to talk too. I can’t to talk to my parents as they would go to my teachers…and I don’t even dare to imagine what would happen if they did.
I’m scared. I don’t want to exist. I don’t want to live anymore.
I’m tired of suffering …for what? Why diary? To be the object of laughter to these people who have nothing better to do … No diary, I can’t take it anymore!
I’m 16 years old and I don’t have a life. I’m 16 years old and I’ve never known happiness. I’m 16 years old and I’ve never had a friend. I’m 16 years old and I’m tired of living.